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💍NTD 💍riginal: Ugliest Engagement Rings - And The Ugliest Engagement Ring Is...

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via GIPHY



ONTD, it is time, after a whopping 1200+ votes in the last poll, the winnerloserwinner celebrity with the ugliest engagemnt ring is...




Scarlett Johansson from Colin Jost

some choice ONTD comments about this testament to ScarJost's love:

I think I'm getting stockholm syndrome over seeing this over and over again for the past few weeks because now I think it looks like a fancy alien egg and I kind of like it. - ms_mmelissa

it's evil and has hypnotic powers im certain of it - marrymejoejonas

ScarJo’s just looks diseased. - petecarl

This one is so vile to me. Someone in another post likened it to a fungal toe nail and now that's all I can see - staada




...and that's it that's all! Thank you ONTD for getting into this weird concept whole hog and making it to much fun! If you have any ideas for another tournament, leave ideas in the comments :)

ONTD Original: Monthly Movie Challenge - April

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Another 10-task challenge. You obviously don’t need to do all 10 tasks, choose as many as you want, but I figured it gives you some variety and allows you to pick and choose movies that fit your taste but also maybe lead you to watch something you wouldn’t normally seek out. For each task, you can pick whatever movie fits within the guidelines, I've added links to help you out. I tried to add tasks that would allow you to get movies on Netflix, Amazon Prime, and/or Hulu – but there’s also Kanopy and Hoopla (both of which you can get free access through your library or university). Have a different movie for each task – that is, don’t have the same movie for task 2 and task 6.


Tasks:
1. Shit's wild right now. Watch any movie featured on Rotten Tomatoes list of 150 Great Feel-Good Movies.
2. Watch any comedy directed by a woman.
3. Watch any movie where there's a virus/pandemic/outbreak of some sort.
4. The first week of April is "Read a Road Map Week" (???), watch any road trip movie.
5. Use THIS list to find an English language film you like then watch it’s foreign language counterpart OR find a foreign language film you like and watch it's English language counterpart.
6. Watch any movie featured on the Letterboxd list of best VFX.
7. Watch any movie featured on the Letterboxd list of underdogs.
8. Watch any movie featured on Edgar Wright’s 100 Favorite Comedies list.
9. Watch any rom-com.
10. April 26th is the 25th anniversary of the movie Friday. Watch Friday or any movie featuring any actor/actress in the movie.


ONTD, what do you plan on watching this month? What did you watch during the month of March?

SOURCES: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.

Previous 2020 challenges: January, February, March.
Previous 2019 challenges: January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December.

ONTD Original: I Dreamed Lady Gaga's Chromatica LEAKED

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After I laid me down last night, I had a VIVID dream where dream me was reading an ONTD post about the leak of Lady Gaga's Chromatica. Now I get the pleasure of reporting everything that I learned from my dream back to you all here. I know hearing about dreams is annoying, but let's take what we can get these days.



Let's find out if I'm the modern Miss Cleo or am I just mistaken!



Dream Prediction 1
The album WILL leak during quarantine and sooner rather than later. Like before it's original release date of April 10th (per Rolling Stone)!

In reality, it's probably just sitting somewhere waiting to express itself.




Dream Prediction 2
The album cover art has a desert motif. It was unclear to me if that was the official art or what the leakers used, but ONTDers in my dream were comparing it to the Perfect Illusion and Stupid Love videos (both dusty).

In reality, all we know it's not the pink Chromatica logo shown here:
https://instagram.com/p/B9PSmdilxJq



Dream Prediction 3
Guest features include Dua Lipa and Nicki Minaj! The former gave the gays everything they wanted. The latter...

In reality, some are expecting the elusive cantante, Ariana Grande, to appear because they took a picture together recently:
https://instagram.com/p/B-SkTWaFD_G


Dream Prediction 4
Lady Gaga, predictably upset at the leak, immediately starts work rushing out a second album! She enlists Diplo to produce this half of an album and pads the rest out with leftovers from Chromatica.

In reality, she called BloodPop® the "center of her new album" (per Paper). It's truly a battle of blood vs. piss.



Dream Prediction 5

Lady Gaga names the new replacement album Meteorite. Is this Mariah's impact or a continuation of LG being on her Chibi Moon shit recently:

https://instagram.com/p/B9X7WgnFA8m

In reality, it might be great if a meteorite did hit our planet sometime soon.


Source: 12345

Note to mods: It's my first post, any feedback is appreciated!

ONTDers: What are your predictions for the album? Have you dreamt of ONTD?

ONTD Reading Challenge: Read a Book With a Scandalous Past

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Hey everyone! April is upon us, and hjalmartazar and milfordacademy have not forsaken you amid the pandemic. We hope everyone is ok and staying safe <3 The reading challenge must go on!

This month's task is to read a book that caused scandal or major controversy when it was released. We're talking widespread bans, major social outrage, protests, governmental or religious condemnation, the author being prosecuted, arrested or exiled for its writing, etc. You'll see what we mean from the examples below (which, as usual, are suggestions - you can read something else as long as it fits the task). Try not to pick a book that has merely caused criticism or that was "challenged" by a single random public school in the US.

The scandal can also be related to the author or the publication of the book itself, for example, the book being a hoax or the author being a scammer or other kind of criminal (e.g. James Frey's "A Million Little Pieces").


1988_Salman_Rushdie_The_Satanic_Verses.jpg

THE SATANIC VERSES (Salman Rushdie)

SUMMARY:Just before dawn one winter’s morning, a hijacked aeroplane blows apart high above the English Channel and two figures tumble, clutched in an embrace, towards the sea: Gibreel Farishta, India’s legendary movie star, and Saladin Chamcha, the man of a thousand voices. Washed up, alive, on an English beach, their survival is a miracle. But there is a price to pay. Gibreel and Saladin have been chosen as opponents in the eternal wrestling match between Good and Evil. But chosen by whom? And which is which? And what will be the outcome of their final confrontation?

THE SCANDAL: Partly inspired by the life of Muhammed, this Booker Prize finalist caused major controversy, as some Muslims accused it of blasphemy and mocking their faith. Ayatollah Khomeini, then Supreme Leader of Iran, issued a fatwa on 14 February 1989 calling for the death of Rushdie and his publishers. This resulted in several failed assassination attempts on Rushdie, and attacks on several connected individuals. The Italian and Norwegian translators were seriously injured, the Turkish translator was the target of arsonists who killed 37 people while trying to get him, and the Japanese translator was stabbed to death. The fatwa against Rushdie still exists, and the bounty on his head was even raised in 2016 (it is now over 3 million dollars).
SOURCES 123


WILD SWANS (Jung Chang)

SUMMARY:An engrossing record of Mao’s impact on China, an unusual window on the female experience in the modern world, and an inspiring tale of courage and love, Jung Chang describes the extraordinary lives and experiences of her family members: her grandmother, a warlord’s concubine; her mother’s struggles as a young idealistic Communist; and her parents’ experience as members of the Communist elite and their ordeal during the Cultural Revolution. Chang was a Red Guard briefly at the age of fourteen, then worked as a peasant, a “barefoot doctor,” a steelworker, and an electrician. As the story of each generation unfolds, Chang captures in gripping, moving—and ultimately uplifting—detail the cycles of violent drama visited on her own family and millions of others caught in the whirlwind of history.

THE SCANDAL: The massive best-seller was never published in China and it is still banned there. In fact, all of Jung Chang’s books are banned in China, and she is herself banned from entering the country, except for two weeks in the year to visit her elderly mother. All this is due to the author’s political biographies (such as of Mao) and for the author’s portrayal of modern China, which is not aligned with the official "history" propaganda of the Chinese Communist Party.

SOURCES 123

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BRICK LANE (Monica Ali)

SUMMARY:Still in her teenage years, Nazneen finds herself in an arranged marriage with a disappointed man who is twenty years older. Away from the mud and heat of her Bangladeshi village, home is now a cramped flat in a high-rise block in London's East End. Nazneen knows not a word of English, and is forced to depend on her husband. But unlike him she is practical and wise, and befriends a fellow Asian girl Razia, who helps her understand the strange ways of her adopted new British home. Nazneen keeps in touch with her sister Hasina back in the village. But the rebellious Hasina has kicked against cultural tradition and run off in a 'love marriage' with the man of her dreams. When he suddenly turns violent, she is forced into the degrading job of garment girl in a cloth factory. Confined in her flat by tradition and family duty, Nazneen also sews furiously for a living, shut away with her buttons and linings - until the radical Karim steps unexpectedly into her life. On a background of racial conflict and tension, they embark on a love affair that forces Nazneen finally to take control of her fate.

THE SCANDAL: Although a best-seller and well-received by critics (it was shortlisted for the Man Booker), the publication of Brick Lane (and the subsequent movie adaptation) caused controversy among the Bangladeshi community in Britain, some of whose members felt that they were negatively portrayed in the work and considered it offensive. Protests were organized against the book and against Monica Ali in particular. There was a lot of media coverage. Due to the controversy, it was not possible to shoot the film on location, and Prince Charles skipped the Royal Film Performance (a charity gala where the film would be screened) for fear of the protests. It was the first time in over 50 years of the event when such a thing happened. Ali was supported by Salman Rushdie during the controversy.
SOURCES 12


51HEwhWbt5L._SL300_.jpg
THE BASTARD OF ISTANBUL (Elif Shafak)
SUMMARY:
One rainy afternoon in Istanbul a woman walks into a doctor's surgery. 'I want an abortion', she announces. She is nineteen years old, and unmarried. What happens that afternoon is to change her life, and the lives of everyone around her. Twenty years later, Asya Kazanci lives with her extended family in Istanbul. Due to a mysterious family curse all the men die by age 41, so it is a house of women, among them her beautiful, rebellious mother, Zeliha, clairvoyant Auntie Banu and bar-brawl widow, Auntie Cevriye. But when Asya's Armenian-American cousin Armanoush comes to stay, long-hidden family secrets and Turkey's turbulent past begin to emerge.

THE SCANDAL: The best-selling author Elif Shafak was prosecuted in her home country of Turkey for having a character of Armenian descent in the book use the word “genocide” in reference to the killing of Armenians by Turks in 1915. She faced up to three years in prison for “denigrating Turkishness”, but fortunately the charges were eventually dropped.
SOURCES 123


LADY CHATTERLEY’S LOVER (D.H. Lawrence)

SUMMARY: With her soft brown hair, lithe figure and big, wondering eyes, Constance Chatterley is possessed of a certain vitality. Yet she is deeply unhappy; married to an invalid, she is almost as inwardly paralyzed as her husband Clifford is paralyzed below the waist. It is not until she finds refuge in the arms of Mellors the game-keeper, a solitary man of a class apart, that she feels regenerated. Together they move from an outer world of chaos towards an inner world of fulfillment.

THE SCANDAL: One of the most famously scandalous books ever, it was all the explicit sex between a married upper-class lady and a working class man that caused such a hoopla. The book was first published privately in 1928 in Italy, and immediately banned in the UK, where it only appeared in full in 1960, when it became the subject of a huge obscenity trial against the publisher Penguin Books. Penguin won the case, and quickly sold 3 million copies. The book was also banned for obscenity in the United States (1929–59), Canada, Australia, India, and Japan.
Sources 12

A CASE OF EXPLODING MANGOES (Mohammed Hanif)

SUMMARY:There is an ancient saying that when lovers fall out, a plane goes down. This is the story of one such plane. Why did a Hercules C130, the world's sturdiest plane, carrying Pakistan's military dictator General Zia ul Haq, go down on 17 August, 1988? Was it because of:

1.Mechanical failure

2.Human error

3.The CIA's impatience

4.A blind woman's curse

5.Generals not happy with their pension plans

6.The mango season


Or could it be your narrator, Ali Shigri?


Teasing, provocative, and very, very funny, Mohammed Hanif's debut novel takes one of the subcontinent's enduring mysteries and out if it spins a tale as rich and colourful as a beggar's dream.


THE SCANDAL:This Commonwealth Prize winner was originally published in 2008, in the English language. It's a satire that revolves around the mysterious death of the Pakistani dictator Gen. Muhammad Zia ul-Haq, and deals with themes such as corruption. According to NPR, "Pakistani author Mohammed Hanif used to quip that the reason why his country's intelligence officials hadn't harassed him for lampooning a military dictator was because it could take them years to get the joke". Those words apparently turned out to be quite prophetic, as the author was basically left alone until 2020, when the book was finally translated to Urdu. Then, men claiming to be from Pakistan's feared Inter-Services Intelligence agency raided the Maktaba-e-Danyal publishing house in Karachi, confiscating about 250 copies and demanding to know which bookshops were selling the novel. The men took lists of book distributors and shops stocking the novel. ISI has predictably denied it was them. Hanif says he now believes his novel is "unnoficially banned" as local distributors will no longer stock it. The author was also faced with a defamation suit by Zia's son, for "maligning Gen. Zia's good name".
SOURCES 12

THE FAT YEARS (Chan Koonchung)

SUMMARY:Beijing, sometime in the near future: a month has gone missing from official records. No one has any memory of it, and no one can care less. Except for a small circle of friends, who will stop at nothing to get to the bottom of the sinister cheerfulness and amnesia that has possessed the Chinese nation. When they kidnap a high-ranking official and force him to reveal all, what they learn - not only about their leaders, but also about their own people - stuns them to the core. It is a message that will rock the world...

THE SCANDAL:"The Fat Years" was never published in Mainland China, where it's banned because it invokes the collective, state-imposed amnesia of the 1989 Tiananmen Square massacre, a taboo subject. Mainland Chinese readers interested in the book have to obtain their copies from Taiwan or Hong Kong, or download a pirated version (if they can find one before the censors delete it). Despite the difficulties, the dystopian novel has found an audience underground in China - and abroad, where it was translated to 14 languages.
SOURCES 12

THE SORROWS OF YOUNG WERTHER (Goethe)

SUMMARY:Visiting an idyllic German village, Werther, a sensitive and romantic young man, meets and falls in love with sweet-natured Lotte. Although he realizes that Lotte is to marry Albert, he is unable to subdue his passion for her, and his infatuation torments him to the point of absolute despair.

THE SCANDAL: This very popular novel started the phenomenon known as the "Werther Fever", which caused young men throughout Europe to dress in the clothing style described for Werther in the novel. But that was not all these young men were copying: the book reputedly also led to a wave of copycat suicides. The men were often dressed in the same clothing "as Goethe's description of Werther and using similar pistols." Often the book was found at the scene of the suicide. This aspect of "Werther Fever" was watched with concern by the authorities – both the novel and the Werther clothing style were banned in Leipzig in 1775; the novel was also banned in Denmark and Italy.

SOURCES 12


THE GIVER (Lois Lowry)
SUMMARY:
Twelve-year-old Jonas lives in a seemingly ideal world. Not until he is given his life assignment as the Receiver does he begin to understand the dark secrets behind this fragile community.

THE SCANDAL: The Giver is among the most challenged books in American schools. The most frequently cited reason for a challenge - that is, an attempt to remove the book - is that The Giver is unsuited for its age group. In 1994, a year after its publication, the book was temporarily banned in California after parents complained of violence and sexual passages. In 1995, students in Montana had to obtain parental permission to read The Giver after it was challenged due to the book’s mentioning of infanticide and euthanasia.
SOURCES 12

Wizard_title_page.jpg
THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ (L. Frank Baum)
SUMMARY:
When Dorothy and her little dog Toto are caught in a tornado, they and their Kansas farmhouse are suddenly transported to Oz, where Munchkins live, monkeys fly and Wicked Witches rule. Desperate to return home, and with the Wicked Witch of the West on their trail, Dorothy and Toto - together with new friends the Tin Woodsman, Scarecrow and cowardly Lion - embark on a fantastic quest along the Yellow Brick Road in search of the Emerald City. There they hope to meet the legendary, all-powerful Wizard of Oz, who alone may hold the power to grant their every wish.

THE SCANDAL: L. Frank Baum’s The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, published in 1900, caused controversy over the course of many decades for various reasons, including depicting a strong female character and portraying good witches. The Chicago Public Library banned the book in 1928, as did the Detroit Public LIbrary in the 1950s, which didn’t lift the ban until 1972. In the 70s and 80s, the book was at the center of lawsuits against public schools in Tennessee by religious fundamentalists. Their opposition to the novel included the reasons stated above, and additionally because animals were personified and elevated to the status of humans.

The judge ruled that parents were allowed to have their children removed from the classroom when the book was being discussed.

SOURCES 123
MADAME BOVARY (Gustave Flaubert)
SUMMARY:Emma Bovary is beautiful and bored, trapped in her marriage to a mediocre doctor and stifled by the banality of provincial life. An ardent devourer of sentimental novels, she longs for passion and seeks escape in fantasies of high romance, in voracious spending and, eventually, in adultery. But even her affairs bring her disappointment, and when real life continues to fail to live up to her romantic expectations, the consequences are devastating.

THE SCANDAL:"Madame Bovary" was first serialized in La Revue de Paris between 1 October 1856 and 15 December 1856, where it was already under a sort of voluntary censorship in order to escape the official State censorship. Author and publisher agreed to remove certain passages and replace them with a note that read: “Here the editors found it necessary to suppress a passage unsuitable to the policies of the Revue de Paris; we hereby acknowledge this to the author.” This, however was not enough to placate the French government and Flaubert was charged with offending public morality. At his trial on 29 January, 1857, the prosecution argued that Emma Bovary's joy in committing adultery was reprehensible and that reading Flaubert's work would inevitably lead to the decay of public decency. After Flaubert's acquittal on 7 February 1857, Madame Bovary was published in its entirety and became a bestseller in the same year, when it was published in two volumes. In the United Kingdom Madame Bovary featured on a secret government blacklist. Home Office files show that during the 1950s, chief constables were instructed to purchase, seize, then burn any copies they found.
SOURCES 123

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THE COLOR PURPLE (Alice Walker)
SUMMARY:A powerful cultural touchstone of modern American literature, The Color Purple depicts the lives of African American women in early twentieth-century rural Georgia. Separated as girls, sisters Celie and Nettie sustain their loyalty to and hope in each other across time, distance and silence. Through a series of letters spanning twenty years, first from Celie to God, then the sisters to each other despite the unknown, the novel draws readers into its rich and memorable portrayals of Celie, Nettie, Shug Avery and Sofia and their experience. The Color Purple broke the silence around domestic and sexual abuse, narrating the lives of women through their pain and struggle, companionship and growth, resilience and bravery.

THE SCANDAL: The novel, which won the Pulitzer Prize and National Book Award, has been frequently challenged in schools since 1984, and also banned or removed in public libraries. Commonly cited justifications for banning the book include sexual explicitness, explicit language, violence, and homosexuality. The novel is 17th on the American Library Association’s list of most frequently challenged or banned books. Since 2017, the state of Texas has censored The Color Purple in its prisons.
SOURCE 123

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CANDIDE (Voltaire)
SUMMARY:Candide is the story of a gentle man who, though pummeled and slapped in every direction by fate, clings desperately to the belief that he lives in "the best of all possible worlds." On the surface a witty, bantering tale, this eighteenth-century classic is actually a savage, satiric thrust at the philosophical optimism that proclaims that all disaster and human suffering is part of a benevolent cosmic plan. Fast, funny, often outrageous, the French philosopher's immortal narrative takes Candide around the world to discover that -- contrary to the teachings of his distinguished tutor Dr. Pangloss -- all is not always for the best. Alive with wit, brilliance, and graceful storytelling, Candide has become Voltaire's most celebrated work.

THE SCANDAL: Published in 1759, Voltaire's "Candide" was banned by the Catholic Church. Bishop Etienne Antoine wrote: "We prohibit, under canonical law, the printing or sale of these books..." Condemned by the French government and the Catholic Church. Banned in France and Geneva. Deemed obscene by US Customs until the 1950s. Listed on the Catholic Church’s Index of Forbidden Books.
SOURCES 123

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THE COUNTRY GIRLS (Edna O’Brien)
SUMMARY:Meet Kate and Baba, two young Irish country girls who have spent their childhood together. As they leave the safety of their convent school in search of life and love in the big city, they struggle to maintain their somewhat tumultuous relationship. Kate, dreamy and romantic, yearns for true love, while Baba just wants to experience the life of a single girl. Although they set out to conquer the world together, as their lives take unexpected turns, Kate and Baba must ultimately learn to find their own way.

THE SCANDAL: This debut novel was both popular and critically acclaimed in the United States and England. But O'Brien's frank discussion of young women's sexuality didn't go over so well in her home country of Ireland: not only did the Irish Censor Board ban The Country Girls , her family's parish priest publicly burned three of the few copies that did make it into the country. O’Brien also received numerous malicious anonymous letters. Her mother was said to be ashamed of her daughter for writing “filth”, while O’Brien’s marriage ended because her husband couldn’t cope with her literary success.
SOURCES 123




Other resources:
Sources linked throughout post. Thank you to milfordacademy, who did the bulk of the work for this post!!

What will you be reading this month, ONTD? Favorite controversial, scandalous, or banned book?

ONTD Original - Seven Songs to Lift You Up

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I thought I would share and create a post of songs that have been lifting me up!


via GIPHY



I, too, have dealt with depression these past, three weeks, and I just want to offer some kind of support. I thought I would post some songs with meaning and provide some quotes, so you get the idea! Some songs may be spiritual/religious, while some are not. I just want to make it as inclusive for everyone to enjoy! I just want to acknowledge that these are definitely difficult times. For others and their circumstances, it may be even worse times. It is okay to not be okay. Hang in there. It is okay to grieve. For some, we may be grieving our loss of freedom, our loss of plans that were initially made, our loss to see loved ones (dead or alive), etc. You are all doing the best you can, whether you see it as big or small. This is not a competition. You're not alone. This really is universal.

I'm intentional with the music I am sharing because listening to sad music makes you sadder. Listening to happier music when feeling sad really does help you from feeling any worse (distress tolerance). Hope you all enjoy!



1. Mariah Carey - "Through the Rain"

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain



2. Nelly Furtado - "Phoenix"

Like a phoenix
Rising from the ashes
Like a phoenix
Rising from the flame
You're gonna be alright
You're gonna be alright
You're gonna be alright again



3. Tori Kelly - "Before the Dawn"

What's a rose without a thorn?
What is calm without a storm?
I can't say I know what you're going through
I know you won't find peace without a war
The finest silk can still be torn
And it's always darkest right before the dawn
So keep your head up
Keep your head up
My love



4. Jennifer Lopez - "Feelin' So Good"

I'm feeling so good
I knew that I would
Been taking care of myself like I should
'Cause not one thing
Can bring me down
Nothing in this world's gonna turn me around



5. Mary J. Blige - "Just Fine (Treat 'Em Right Remix)"

Feels so good, when you're doing all the things that you want to do
Get the best out of life, treat yourself to something new
Keep your head up high
In yourself, believe in you, believe in me
Having a really good time, I'm not complaining
And I'm a still wear a smile if it raining
I got to enjoy myself regardless
I appreciate life, I'm so glad I got mine


via GIPHY



6. Marc Anthony - "Vivir Mi Vida"

A veces llega la lluvia (Sometimes, the rain comes)
Para limpiar las heridas (To clean the wounds)
A veces solo una gota (Sometimes, just one raindrop)
Puede vencer la sequía (Can overcome a drought)
Y para qué llorar, pa' qué (Why cry? For what?)
....
Voy a vivir el momento (I will live in the moment)
Para entender el destino (To understand destiny)
Voy a escuchar en silencio (I will listen in silence)
Para encontrar el camino (To find the path)



7. Celia Cruz - "Ríe y Llora"

Ríe, llora (Laugh, cry)
Que a cada cual le llega su hora (Your time will come)
Ríe, llora (Laugh, cry)
Vive tu vida y gózala toda (Live your life and enjoy everything)




Note: Please feel free to send love, hope, positivity, any form of support in this post! Share what's been making you feel good!

Another Note: Here are additional resources: 1,2,3,4.

ONTD ORIGINAL: It's the 3-Month Oscars!

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Hey, it's April Fool's Day! I know many of ya'll don't like the jokes, but I've wanted to do this for awhile (After all, March 2020 has been going on for...a while). This isn't the most important thing, but it is a bit of levity.

Let's pretend that no movies come out for the rest of the year (RIP "Artemis Fowl" 😔)  - What is up for Oscars?

The criteria -


  • Must play for at least 2 weeks in Los Angeles County. Technically, the films that came out on March 13th do qualify, as there are still drive-in theaters playing these titles.

  • Must be at least 90 minutes long.

  • Probably something else.


BEST PICTURE



Wow, what a ...crop of movies we have to pick from! Will we see our first superhero movie win Best Picture? Or our first Video Game movie? Or our first Christian Schlock film? Stay tuned!




BEST ACTRESS



BEST ACTOR



GROUP OF BEST SUPPORTING ENTITIES




DISCLAIMER:

OP has not seen "Underwater" and simply assumes the movie takes place there.

She has also not seen "The Gentlemen" or "Fantasy Island". But she did read the synopsis for the former, and it seems Henry really does have a fair amount to do!


BEST DOCUMENTARY:

Miss Americana

WHY?
P. Sure it's the only documentary to come out so far this year.
Look, I had to bend my own rules. Not sure it came out in theaters, but what are you gonna do?

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE:

Nominees:
Onward
Homeward

WINNER:

Onward



WHY?
Nice animation.
Really nice score.
The only wide released animated film of 2020 *so far.

Honorary-ish mention goes to TROLLS WORLD TOUR.
You ever notice how the Trolls movies come out during crises?
2016: Presidental Election
2020: Pandemic
I enjoy them, but for the sake of the planet, Dreamworks, please stop making them.


WORST PICTURE

Not like you saw any of these...if the theaters didn't shut down with the quickness, they were certainly pulled before then.


src: Movies (temporarily) existing.

LJ was acting a damn fool so I can only hope the polls work properly. I had to make this post like 2 times.

ONTD Original: Streaming Services Update for April 2020

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New content for your April 2020 home viewing pleasure



Each section will have selections of new content including RT [Rotten Tomatoes] and Metacritic, plus source for full list


Amazon Prime Video

Follow @PrimeVideo

Tweet


Click for sample of new Amazon selection

I Am Legend


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtKMEAXyPkg

Will Smith 68% RT 65 Metacritic

21 (!) James Bond Films now available in 4K


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pw61uyA0F8A

Sean Connery 95% RT

The Bodyguard


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JFRdJTszRM

Kevin Costner Whitney Houston 34% RT (!)

The Lighthouse


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hyag7lR8CPA

Willem Dafoe Robert Pattinson 90% RT 83 Metacritic

click tweet source for the full Amazon Prime Video list



Apple TV

Follow @AppleTV

Plot twist. Original content only. Unable to find a media source that summarizes them all but you can check their twitter.



Criterion Collection

Follow @Criterion

This service has a large catalog of classic films and foreign films

Click this link for Criterion April 2020 listing

Click for sample of new Criterion selection

. Japanese actor Toshiro Mifune Turns 100 with a collection of 25+ films, many by Akira Kurosawa

. Collection of 70s Style Icons including Performance 1970, Klute 1971, Shaft 1971, What’s Up Doc? 1972, Foxy Brown 1974, Shampoo 1975, Three Days of the Condor 1975, The Man Who Fell to Earth 1976, A Star Is Born 1976, Welcome to L.A. 1976, Annie Hall 1977, Eyes of Laura Mars 1978, Thank God It’s Friday 1979

Raging Bull



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUp6d79WRVI

Robert DeNiro 94% RT

Anatomy of a Murder and two others by Otto Preminger


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meHflk7RYkk

James Stewart 100% RT

Paper Moon


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORTv3jORX-I

Ryan O’Neal Tatum O’Neal 92% RT

Wadjda


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3koigluYOH0

Waad Mohammed 99% RT

click link above for the full Criterion list



Disney Plus

Follow @disneyplus

Tweet


Click for sample of new Disney+ selection

Onward


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gn5QmllRCn4

Julia Louis-Dreyfus Octavia Spencer 87% RT 61 Metacritic

National Treasure


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0u9-5lPP4Q

Nicholas Cage 46% RT 39 Metacritic

click tweet source for the full Disney Plus list



HBO

Follow @HBO

Tweet


Click for sample of new HBO selection

Die Hard is a Christmas movie I will not be taking questions


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaJuwKCmJbY

Bruce Willis 93% RT 70 Metacritic

Sophie’s Choice


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STPJVf6wqCk

Meryl Streep 74% RT 68 Metacritic

The Lovely Bones


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9PrQmcV81Y

Saoirse Ronan 32% RT 42 Metacritic

click tweet source for the full HBO list



Hulu

Follow @Hulu

Tweet


Click for sample of new Hulu selection

Parasite


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xH0HfJHsaY

Park So-dam Lee Jung-eun Jang Hye-jin 99% RT 96 Metacritic

Bend It Like Beckham


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7Pt_GMDdGo

Parminder Nagra Keira Knightley RT 85%

Blazing Saddles


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKayG1TrfuE

Gene Wilder Cleavon Little 89% RT

Risky Business


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JXcqzJjHf0

Tom Cruise Rebecca DeMornay 94% RT

click tweet source for the full Hulu list



Netflix

Follow @netflix

Tweet


Click for sample of new Netflix selection

Extraction


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwGaJVLR0H4

Chris Hemsworth /no reviews yet/

Mud


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m9IFlz2iYo

Matthew McConaughey Tye Sheridan Reese Witherspoon 98% RT 76 Metacritic

The Perks of Being a Wallflower


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5rh7O4IDc0

Emma Watson 86% RT 67 Metacritic

Taxi Driver


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUxD4-dEzn0

Robert DeNiro 97% RT 94 Metacritic

click tweet source for the full Netflix list



Showtime

Follow @showtime

Tweet


Click for sample of new Showtime selection

The American President


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyGibtCfMLM

Michael Douglas Annette Bening 91% RT 67 Metacritic

Charlie’s Angels [the fun one]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFuZhw5b1KA

Drew Barrymore Cameron Diaz Lucy Liu 68% RT 52 Metacritic

While You Were Sleeping


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsJxyUvkB_E

Sandra Bullock Bill Pullman 81% RT 67 Metacritic

Wild Things


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkSY0Y00sb4

Neve Campbell Denise Richards Kevin Bacon and Kevin Bacon’s pee pee 63% RT 52 Metacritic

click tweet source for the full Netflix list


*Films picked randomly though I’ve seen [almost] all the ones listed except some of the Criterion Collection. I didn’t include TV shows or limited series.

Ontd what are you looking forward to watching this month?

Source links with each video or section

ONTD Original: America’s Most Hated & Favorite Vegetables and Celebs That Might Agree or Disagree

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Basically a lazy and shameful excuse to discuss these survey results from June 2019.

America's Favorite Vegetables
Corn (91%)
Potatoes (91%)
Carrots (89%)
Tomatoes (89%)
Onion (87%)
Green beans (87%)
Cucumbers (86%)
Broccoli (85%)
Cabbage (84%)
Peas (83%)

America's Least Favorite Vegetables
Turnip (27%)
Beets (26%)
Radish (23%)
Brussels sprouts (21%)
Artichoke (20%)
Eggplant (20%)
Butternut squash (20%)
Zucchini (18%)
Mushroom (18%)
Asparagus (16%)

Most Liked: Corn 🌽

Michael Bublé agrees so much that he made headlines in 2016 for eating corn on a cob in a strange way. Lemme step outside my house for a sec and see if the Elote lady or man is around. brb!



Most Liked: Tomatoes🍅

Shawn Mendes completely disagrees. He thinks tomatoes ruin everything. Your loss Sean Mendiez!

Most Hated: Beets

Lisa Simpson disagrees and seems to love beets. She’s even excited to announce her enthusiasm for the veggie after a trip with her mom to the grocery store.

Most Hated: Turnips

The former FLOTUS may not like beets, but she seems to enjoy turnips... at least enough for the sake of a good pun.

Most Liked: Potatoes🥔

Potato King Channing Potatum would agree! Obviously. Ansel Elgort wishes.

Most Hated: Brussels Sprouts

Kelly Clarkson agrees! She hates them.

More survey results:




What is your favorite and least favorite vegetable? Do you feel that you eat enough veggies in your daily diet? How do you prepare and cook your vegetables?

Sources: Me and 1

Indie Film Release Guide: March 27th [An ONTD Original]

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ONTD Indie Release Guide Graphic.png

In the second week of Indie Film Release Guide: Quarantine Edition, we have several direct-to-digital new releases available for purchase on the platform of your choice, as well as a few more picks available on typical streaming services. I’d also recommend checking your local indie theater’s websites to see if any of them are hosting virtual screenings - for example, theaters across the country are virtually screening Bacurau, with payment for the view supporting your local theater.

The films listed are from studios other than the “Big Six” - Paramount, Warner Brothers, 20th Century Fox, Universal, Columbia/Sony and Disney. Check out the posts from the past few weeks for more movies may have been released to streaming: March 20th, March 13th, and March 6th.


Banana Split



Stars: Hannah Marks, Liana Liberto, Dylan Sprouse, Luke Spencer Roberts
Writer: Hannah Marks, Joey Power
Director: Benjamin Kasulke
Genre: Comedy
Plot: Over the course of a summer, two teenage girls develop the perfect kindred spirit friendship, with one big problem: one of them is dating the other's ex.
What you should know: The film, completed in 2018, was on the festival circuit last year.
Streams on: New release, available VOD



Vivarium



Stars: Imogen Poots, Jesse Eisenberg, Molly McCann, Jonathan Aris
Writer: Lorcan Finnegan, Garret Shanley
Director: Lorcan Finnegan
Genre: Mystery, Sci-Fi
Plot: A young couple looking for the perfect home find themselves trapped in a mysterious labyrinth-like neighborhood of identical houses.
What you should know: The writers previous collaborated on the 2016 film Without Name.
Streams on: New release, available VOD


Resistance



Stars: Jesse Eisenberg, Ed Harris, Edgar Ramírez, Clémence Poésy
Writer/Director: Jonathan Jakubowicz
Genre: Biography, Drama, History
Plot: The story of a group of Jewish Boy Scouts who worked with the French Resistance to save the lives of ten thousand orphans during World War II.
What you should know: This is the director’s first film since 2016’s Hands of Stone, which also starred Edgar Ramírez.
Streams on: New release, available VOD


Blow The Man Down



Stars: Sophie Lowe, Morgan Saylor, June Squibb, Margo Martindale
Writer/Director: Bridget Savage Cole, Danielle Krudy
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Mystery
Plot: Mary Beth and Priscilla Connolly attempt to cover up a gruesome run-in with a dangerous man. To conceal their crime, the sisters must go deep into the criminal underbelly of their hometown, uncovering the town's darkest secrets.
What you should know: Nominated for Best First Screenplay at the Film Independent Spirit Awards.
Streams on: New release, streaming on Amazon Prime


Crip Camp



Director: James Lebrecht, Nicole Newnham
Genre: Documentary
Storyline: Down the road from Woodstock, a revolution blossomed at a ramshackle summer camp for teenagers with disabilities, transforming their lives and igniting a landmark movement.
What you should know: The film won the Audience Award for Documentaries at Sundance 2020.
Streams on: New release, streaming on Netflix


Oh Lucy! (2017)



Stars: Shinobu Terajima, Josh Hartnett, Kaho Minami, Kôji Yakusho
Writer: Atsuko Hirayanagi, Boris Fruman
Director: Atsuko Hirayanagi
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Plot: A lonely woman living in Tokyo decides to take an English class where she discovers her alter ego, Lucy.
What you should know: It’s in Japanese and English.
Streams on: Hulu


Curtiz



Stars: Ferenc Lengyel, Nikolett Barabas, Evelin Dobos, Declan Hannigan
Writer: Tamas Yvan Topolanszky, Zsuzsanna Bak, Ward Perry
Director: Tamas Yvan Topolanszky
Genre: Biography, Drama, History
Plot: As America prepares to enter WW2, Hungarian film director Michael Curtiz grapples with political intervention and a dysfunctional relationship with his estranged daughter amid the troubled production of Casablanca in 1942.
What you should know: This is the director’s first feature narrative film.
Streams on: New to Netflix


Support The Girls (2018)



Stars: Regina Hall, Haley Lu Richardson, Dylan Gelula, Zoe Graham
Writer/Director: Andrew Bujalski
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Plot: The general manager at a highway-side ''sports bar with curves" has her incurable optimism and faith, in her girls, her customers, and herself, tested over the course of a long, strange day.
What you should know: Regina Hall was nominated for a Film Independent Spirit Award for her role in the film after a long festival circuit.
Streams on: Hulu


The Platform



Stars: Ivan Massagué, Zorion Eguileor, Antonia San Juan, Emilio Buale
Writer: David Desola, Pedro Rivero
Director: Galder Gaztelu-Urrutia
Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller
Plot: A vertical prison with one cell per level. Two people per cell. One only food platform and two minutes per day to feed from up to down. An endless nightmare trapped in The Pit.
What you should know: It’s in Spanish
Streams on: New release, streaming on Netflix


The Love Witch (2016)



Stars: Samantha Robinson, Jeffrey Vincent Parise, Laura Waddell, Jeffrey Vincent Parise
Writer/Director: Anna Biller
Genre: Comedy, Horror, Romance
Plot: A modern-day witch uses spells and magic to get men to fall in love with her, with deadly consequences.
What you should know: Much of the set decorations and costumes were handmade by the writer/director.
Streams on: Kanopy, Vudu, Amazon Prime


Recent Digital Releases:

Birds of Prey (Trailer)

Jumanji: The Next Level (Trailer)

Just Mercy (Trailer)

Knives Out (Trailer)

Clemency (Trailer)



Source 123456789101112131415161718192021

What have you been watching lately, ONTD? Anything on deck for this weekend?

Indie Film Release Guide: April 3rd [An ONTD Original]

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Believe it or not, April 2020 marks the two year anniversary of these weekly indie posts. They were started in the before times, when we could still go to movie theaters (here's the very first entry), but I’m grateful that there are still many indies to showcase available for home viewing. I originally thought I’d make a new header for every month, but I only ever made one for April and then defaulted to a generic one for the rest of the months. So enjoy!!

The films listed are from studios other than the “Big Six” - Paramount, Warner Brothers, 20th Century, Universal, Columbia/Sony and Disney. Check out the posts from the past few weeks for more movies that may have already come to VOD: March 27th, March 20th, and March 13th.


The Other Lamb



Stars: Michiel Huisman, Raffey Cassidy, Denise Gough, Eve Connolly
Writer: C.S. McMullen
Director: Malgorzata Szumowska
Genre: Drama, Horror
Plot: A girl born into an all-female cult led by a man in their compound begins to question his teachings and her own reality.
What you should know: Premiered at TIFF 2019.
Streams on: Available VOD on April 3rd



Clover



Stars: Mark Webber, Nicole Elizabeth Berger, Jon Abrahams, Erika Christensen
Writer: Michael Testone
Director: Jon Abrahams
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Thriller
Plot: Two brothers owe money to the wrong guy at the wrong time. While they go on the run trying to pull together the money they become burdened with a teenage girl and hunted by assassins they don't know are following their every move.
What you should know: This is the star/director’s second feature film, but he has been much more prolific as an actor.
Streams on: Available VOD on April 3rd


Almost Love



Stars: Scott Evans, Augustus Prew, Michelle Buteau, Colin Donnell
Writer/Director: Mike Doyle
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Plot: An ensemble comedy about romance in the smartphone era.
What you should know: Formerly known as Sell By.
Streams on: Available VOD on April 3rd


Never Rarely Sometimes Always



Stars: Sidney Flanagan, Talia Ryder, Théodore Pellerin, Sharon Van Etten
Writer/Director: Eliza Hittman
Genre: Drama
Plot: A pair of teenage girls in rural Pennsylvania travel to New York City to seek out medical help after an unintended pregnancy.
What you should know: This had the misfortune to be released in theaters the weekend the US got serious about coronavirus, so you may not have heard much about it.
Streams on: Available VOD on April 3rd


Uncorked



Stars: Mamoudou Athie, Sasha Compère, Courtney B. Vance, Niecy Nash
Writer/Director: Prentice Penny
Genre: Drama
Plot: Elijah must balance his dream of becoming a master sommelier with his father's expectations that he carry on the family's Memphis BBQ joint.
What you should know: Writer/director Prentice Penny has written and/or produced on shows like Happy Endings, Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Insecure.
Streams on: Netflix


Portrait of a Lady on Fire



Stars: Noémie Merlant, Adèle Haenel, Luàna Bajrami, Valeria Golino
Writer/Director: Céline Sciamma
Genre: Drama, Romance
Plot: On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteenth century, a female painter is obliged to paint a wedding portrait of a young woman.
What you should know: It’s in French, so you’re probably gonna have to put that phone down while you watch this beautiful film.
Streams on: Hulu


The Florida Project (2017)



Stars: Brooklynn Prince, Bria Vinaite, Willem Dafoe, Valeria Cotto
Writer: Sean Baker, Chris Bergoch
Director: Sean Baker
Genre: Drama
Plot: Set over one summer, the film follows precocious six-year-old Moonee as she courts mischief and adventure with her ragtag playmates and bonds with her rebellious but caring mother, all while living in the shadows of Walt Disney World.
What you should know: Willem Dafoe was nominated for Best Supporting Actor at the 2018 Academy Awards.
Streams on: Netflix, beginning Monday, April 6th


Bend it Like Beckham (2002)



Stars: Parminder Nagra, Keira Knightley, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Archie Panjabi
Writer: Gurinder Chadha, Guljit Bindra, Paul Mayeda Berges
Director: Gurinder Chadha
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Plot: The daughter of orthodox Sikh rebels against her parents' traditionalism and joins a football team.
What you should know: Nominated for Best Comedy or Musical at the 2004 Golden Globes.
Streams on: Hulu


Asako I & II (2018)



Stars: Erika Karata, Masahiro Higashide, Sairi Itô, Kôji Nakamoto
Writer: Sachiko Tanaka, Ryûsuke Hamaguchi
Director: Ryûsuke Hamaguchi
Genre: Drama, Romance
Plot: Asako lives in Osaka. She falls in love with Baku, a free-spirit. One day, Baku suddenly disappears. Two years later, Asako now lives in Tokyo and meets Ryohei. He looks just like Baku, but has a completely different personality.
What you should know: Based on the novel by Tomoka Shibasaki, it’s in Japanese.
Streams on: Kanopy (free via many library memberships)


Invisible Life (2019)



Stars: Julia Stockler, Carol Duarte, Flávia Gusmão, António Fonseca
Writer: Murilo Hauser, Inés Bortagaray, Karim Aïnouz
Director: Karim Aïnouz
Genre: Drama
Plot: Kept apart by a terrible lie and a conservative society, two sisters born in Rio de Janeiro make their way through life each believing the other is living out her dreams half a world away.
What you should know: Based on the book by Martha Batalha, it’s in Portuguese and Greek.
Streams on: Amazon Prime


Recent Digital Releases

Bad Boys For Life (Trailer)

The Current War: Director’s Cut (Trailer)

Sonic The Hedgehog (Trailer)

Impractical Jokers: The Movie (Trailer)




Source 123456789101112131415161718192021

What have you been watching lately, ONTD? Anything on deck for the weekend?

ONTD Architectural Digest: Drake Shows Off Gaudy Toronto Mansion in New Music Video

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Drake posted a new music video showcasing exterior shots of empty, quarantined Toronto before moving indoors to his Toronto mansion (not tone deaf at all!) where we get a peak at what the interior of his home looks like (spoiler alert - new money fug).





Trophy Room:


Desk


Foyer 1


Foyer 2


Bar Area


Piano


Dining Room + Kitchen + Living Room???


Kitchen 2


Blue Room 1


Blue Room 2 - Snoop


Blue Room 3


Statue


Doors to Pool Area


Pool


Pool Area


Hallway


Exterior 1


Exterior 2 (Aerial)




Source: Drake's YouTube
Screenshots taken by shittysoup and uploaded to ONTD Pictures. Links to Photos: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 /11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18

New Music Friday – April 3, 2020

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Featuring new music by Banks, BIA, Biig Piig, Black Atlass, DaBaby, Diana Gordon, Dinah Jane, Empress Of, Future, Hayley Williams, Kiana Ledé, Mystery Jets, ONEWE feat. Hwa Sa, Orville Peck, Peach Pit, Purity Ring, Sech, Thundercat, Yaeji, The 1975

Banks, Live and Stripped (EP)


Black Atlass, Dream Awake


Diana Gordon, Wasted Youth (EP)


Empress Of, I'm Your Empress Of


Kiana Ledé, KEKE


Mystery Jets, A Billion Heartbeats


Peach Pit, You and Your Friends


Purity Ring, WOMB


Thundercat, It Is What It Is


Yaeji, WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던


BIA - "COVER GIRL"


Biig Piig - "Switch"


DaBaby - "Find My Way"


Dinah Jane - "Missed a Spot"


Future - "Tycoon"


Hayley Williams - "Over Yet"


ONEWE - "Q" (feat. Hwa Sa)


Orville Peck - "Summmertime"


Sech - "Relación"


The 1975 - "Jesus Christ 2005 God Bless America"
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More:
New Music Friday – February 28
New Music Friday – March 6
New Music Friday – March 13
New Music Friday – March 20
New Music Friday – March 27

Happy Friday, ONTD! What music is keeping you sane right now?

Ontd Original: The Pixar Playoffs (Nominations Until 4/7)

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Hi there, folks. How have you been?

Time for another round-robin competition in the Pandemic Playoffs Series, that will last, frankly, a lot less than Battle of the Brits. There was a winner announced, so check it out if you haven't!

I wanted to do "Best Animated Features of the Decade" playoffs, but lbr, either "Spider-verse" would have rightfully won, or the winner would be second...to "Spider-verse". Because it's my post and I say SDV wins.

This one is about Pixar movies, as you probably have Disney+, watching these endlessly in the long days of and there are a few new rules.

  1. These brackets only start at 8 contenders, as there are far fewer Pixar movies than there are British people (to my knowledge).

  2. Full lenth features only. You also can't nominate Soul, as it isn't out yet. Not sure what counts? Check here.

  3. Also only like me and 1 other person on planet Earth like Monsters University.

  4. Parent comment nominates, other people support - Use the reactions! I don't mind comments of support, but please use the reactions to make it easier for me to count.

  5. Do not nominate Cars 2.

  6. I'm serious, don't do it.

This shouldn't take too long, so, depending on when this is posted, nominations end Tuesday, April 7th, at 1 PM CST. That's an hour after Roundup is posted.

src:

Multimedia conglomerate Disney.

ONTD Original: 10 celebrities who won't let a pandemic stand in the way of their need for attention

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You don't become a celebrity by being some humble selfless wallflower. But while some celebs have decided to use their financial wealth and wide platform for good (i.e. charity) some celebrities have decided that what everyone needs right now to cheer them up is their face.

Here are ten (ish) celebs who don't know how to read a room:


Gal Gadot & friends
https://instagram.com/p/B95M4kNhbzz

Look I'm going to honest with you. The second I saw that video of Gal and her closest friends singing Imagine in their mansions I refused to click on it because the cringe was too strong. Even the stills from the vid I've scrolled past have given me second hand embarassment. What can I say? This is the ultimate ploy for attention. Who, when seeing that there was going to be global suffering including mass deaths, mass unemployment and mass food insecurity is like "I know what the people want. MY FACE". Gal Gadot and her friends, that's who (like they're not even professional singers so they can't even claim they are giving "the gift" of their music). The only good thing about this is all the parody vids it inspired.

Ana de Armas & Ben Affleck
Ben Affleck was already on ONTDs most-hated list (if you need a refresher he's protected his younger brother Casey Affleck from being asked questions about his involvement in rape and has himself been accused of groping by actress Hilarie Burton and Annamarie Tendler). Ana de Armas was basically costing off of the goodwill of having a pretty face and starring in the breakout hit Knives Out and the upcoming Bond film. Then, right as covid-19 cases started popping up in the U.S., the two co-stars announced they were a couple in Costa Rica and then, as social isolating began to be encouraged the two decided to hole up together but still appear for performative walks where they could make out in front of the paps while claiming they didn't want the attention. Also they apparently aren't even social distancing properly since they're still having guests at their home and Affleck is still visiting with his kids who are staying with their mom, Jennifer Garner.

Their antics have gone from amusing to annoying real fast. Even de Armas' stan account is over it:



Meredith Salenger



Salenger decided to cheer everyone up with some weird advice about how social distancing and citywide lockdowns are the perfect time to date someone because you can really get to know them over text. That's sort of a nice if weirdly timed sentiment given that everyone's mental health is crumbling and there is mass unemployment but then Salenger turned it into a post about how she fell in love with husband Patton Oswalt and knew he was the one. I mean, I guess?


Jessica Chastain

https://instagram.com/p/B9wqKd_BpgA


Chastain fell out of favour with me a few years ago when she hired serial domestic abuser Matthew Newton to write and direct a project and, when faced with backlash, never apologized and shot Newton's film anyway replacing him with a new director. But during covid-19 she's been acting bizarre.

In not-so-relatable tweets and Insta posts Chastain has been talking about how difficult social distancing is and how she's going stir crazy... pairing these words up with pictures of her from old photoshoots and weirdly edited vids of her taken at home. Maybe one or two of these would be okay. But there are a LOT.

Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel
https://instagram.com/p/B-KhhVNB98q

Justin Timberlake posted a nice little Instagram post of his wife encouraging people to self-isolate with links to food banks and charities they could donate to. But that nice place he's posting from with all the trees is the Yellowstone club in Montana where it costs $300,000 just to have your membership approved and condos start at $4 million. Journalist Anne Helen Petersen wrote a great article on why celebs and other rich people fucking off to remote rural areas endangers both themselves and the locals who live their year round. Also it's incredibly tacky to post that we're in this together as you ride out the pandemic in your own private club.

Joan Smalls

https://instagram.com/p/B-UwstsAtYF

When medical health experts explained that one of our best ways of beating covid-19 was to wash our hands for twenty seconds lots of celebs stepped up with fun hand washing videos helping to show best practices. Model Joan Small put on a bikini, some rubber gloves and posed with a bottle of cleaning product. Thirst trap but make it pandemic related? IDEK.

Camila Cabello & Shawn Mendes

To be fair these two are needy and attention seeking even in the best of times but this quarantine pap stroll was next level weird. Were they tweaking? Were they just posing super slowly? Both? Who knows!



source 123456 + me and my judgey opinions + ONTD and their judgey opinion + these celebs and their egos.



How are you holding up, ONTD? Share your pettiest quarantine complaints here!

ONTD Original: 10 forgotten onscreen ~hunks~ from the 2000s — Part 1

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Anyone can Google whatever happened to Chad Michael Murray or Josh Hartnett, but what about the onscreen names we truly haven't thought about in years?






1. Trent Ford
A model/actor, he had roles in Gosford Park, Slap Her... She's French (called "She Gets What She Wants" abroad), and How to Deal. He also shot a Calvin Klein campaign in 2008 with Scarlett Johansson, and did work for The Gap and Abercrombie & Fitch. He later showed up on some CW shows such as 90210 and The Vampire Diaries, but he hasn't acted since 2015.

Here is a montage of him in How to Deal, suitably set to Liz Phair's "Why Can't I?"



His Instagram is full of throwbacks, too.

2. Oliver James
A British actor that YM told us was the ~sweet, sensitive type.~ He starred in What a Girl Wants with Amanda Bynes and Raise Your Voice with Hilary Duff. He only made one other movie, truly making him an actor of the 2000s.

Here he is in What a Girl Wants. He asked Amanda Bynes why she was trying to fit in when she was born to stand out?



What does he look like now? Check out his profile pic on Twitter.

3. Riley Smith
His heyday was in the 2000s, starring in Eight Legged Freaks, Not Another Teen Movie, New York Minute, Bring It On, and more! But he's had a steady stream of acting credits and currently stars as the sketchy Ryan Hudson on The CW's Nancy Drew.

He says he couldn't tell the Olsen Twins apart while filming New York Minute.



His Instagram is full of pics of his dog and newborn daughter.

4. Adam Garcia
Admittedly, I had no clue who he was until I mentioned in last night's FFA that I was considering doing this post. But he was the love interest in Coyote Ugly! He was also in Riding in Cars With Boys, Kangaroo Jack, and Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. Who would have known??

Perhaps his dancing on the Coyote Ugly bar is what got him a spot judging Dancing With the Stars Australia in 2013?



Okay, maybe I should further educate myself - his Instagram bio says he's an actor, dancer, and singer.

5. Shane West
Who's really forgotten about Shane West though? Best known for A Walk to Remember, he was also in Get Over It, Whatever It Takes, Dracula 2000, and as himself in Ocean's Eleven. He then went on to star in Nikita, Salem, and Gotham.

Here he is last March discussing Gotham AND how he had a thing for Mandy Moore back in 2001.



He really enjoys posting selfies.

6. Sean Faris
When he first came out, everyone kept pointing out that he looked like a young Tom Cruise. He starred in Pearl Harbor, Sleepover, Never Back Down, Yours Mine & Ours, and the TV show Life As We Know It. He also played a cop in Pretty Little Liars, whose plotline was never fully tied up. Go figure.

Here he is discussing Never Back Down:



And here is his Instagram.

7. Sean Patrick Thomas Whew, he was in everything! Cruel Intentions, Can't Hardly Wait, Save the Last Dance, Not Another Teen Movie, Barbershop 1 and 2, etc. In the 2010s, he took his talents to television.

This screenshot was used in every single teen magazine's promo for Save the Last Dance.



He is now a husband and a daddy, according to his Instagram bio.

8. Jesse Bradford
He's been acting since the 1980s, but truly peaked with his roles in Cherry Falls, Bring it On, Clockstoppers, and Swimfan. In a very 2000s occurrence, he financed an NYC nightclub called The Plumm with Sam Ronson and others. Guest DJs at the club included Lindsay Lohan, Agyness Deyn, and Joel Madden. It shut down in 2009.

Who doesn't love an overdramatic teen thriller trailer from 2002?



His Instagram is full of shirtlessness, long hair, and maybe too many memes.

9. Erik Von Detten Admittedly, his heyday was in the 1990s. But in the 2000s, he starred in The Princess Diaries, and voiced 4 different Recess films. His last role was the voice of Sid in Toy Story 3 in 2010.



I found him on Instagram, but despite his 739 posts, his bio says he doesn't use the account. His wife's Instagram shows pictures of him and their kids, but keep your creeping respectful, folks!

10. Anson Mount
Best known for his role as Ben in Crossroads, it's apparent that he wasn't actually destined for teen hunk stardom. Instead, he's had a steady stream of work that probably did not appeal to teenagers in the 2000s. He currently has a podcast called The Well, AND is an Adjunct Assistant Professor at Columbia University, where he teaches audition technique for graduate actors.

He paused The Cult on his road trip so that Britney could sing some N Sync.



He's a bit of a silver fox now, seems to enjoy dog photos, and anti-Trump COVID memes.

Source 1
Source 2
Source 3
Source 4
Source 5
Source 6
Source 7
Source 8
Source 9
Source 10
+ my summaries from Wikipedia
+ my knowledge of certain actors


I called this Part 1 because my list had WAY more than 10 people on it. I can't just give up the goods all at once... Stay tuned for more in this series!

***Waves hello to PageSix and BuzzFeed***

ONTD Original: 𝓥𝒆𝒏𝒖𝒔 𝓢𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒔 𝓐𝒔 𝓕𝒖𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝓝𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒈𝒊𝒂 𝓛𝒚𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒔

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Dua's Topshop tunes have kept us sane during these difficult times, but while you cannot go to da klerb to fill your perreo quota, you can still Zoom it—and not in the Abbey Lee Miller way #istayhome.

Venus represents the goddess of love and beauty, it tells us about our relationships, our love style, and creative expression. According to your Venus sign, these are the lyrics more likely to make you drag your cats friends to the living room dance floor, sing out loud to your soon-to-be ex, or just down your margarita to have a good cry in the bathroom.
You can find your Venus sign here.








𝑯𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒖𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒆

no, i couldn’t live without your touch
no, i could never have too much
i’ll breathe you in, forever and ever
hallucinate
i hallucinate when you call my name
got stars in my eyes
and they don’t fade, when you come my way 🎶




You're a sweet and generous lover, and may see love as a fantasy you
want to disappear into—this can sometimes lead you to ignore red flags
and even be taken advantage of, but if your partner can appreciate
your sensibilities and indulge with you, being in love with you is
like being in a fairytale.






𝑪𝒐𝒐𝒍

you know, you know, you got
me losing all my cool
‘cause i’m burning up on you
in control of what i do
and i love the way you move
got the heat and the thrill
give you more than any pill
never running out of juice
when it’s only me and you 🎶




You're a fiery lover, full of energy. You burn up, and you burn up fast,
sometimes loving the chase a little too much. Being with you can be
challenging for those who simply don't have your energy levels,
but for those who are lucky enough to keep up with you,
they will be treated to many thrilling, hilarious, and sexy adventures.





𝑷𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍

common love isn’t for us
we created something phenomenal
don’t you agree?
don’t you agree?
you got me feeling diamond rich
nothing on this planet compares to it
don’t you agree? 🎶




You're a steady lover with expensive tastes; you expect to
be dined and wined and will give the same back. You can sometimes
be a little possessive, however, but you want to feel comfort in your
relationship, you want to feel at home, making you an honest partner,
and you expect this same honesty from your partner, too; you want to
be able to share with each other things you could never share with others.






𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝑰𝒏 𝑩𝒆𝒅

i’ve been thinking it’d be better if we didn’t know each other
then you go and make me feel OK
got me thinking it’d be better if we didn’t stay together
then you put your hands up on my waist 🎶




You're a playful, witty lover and the idea of boredom scares you;
you can seem indecisive, breezy, maybe even ready to leave,
and therefore hard to satisfy, but if your partner is able
to keep up with your curiosities and cares to engage in midnight
chats about all kinds of ideas, they'll find it's really not that
hard to keep you around.






𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚 𝑷𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆

i hate it when you leave me unattended
‘cause i miss ya’ and i ned your love
when my mind is running wild
could you help me slow it down?
put my mind at ease
pretty please
i need your hands on me
sweet relief 🎶




You're a sensitive and needy lover who loves a good cuddle.
You can be moody and sometimes even a little paranoid,
but only because you give a lot and you're scared of being hurt;
you're protective and affectionate and expect your partner to
care for your emotions just as you do theirs.






𝑫𝒐𝒏❜𝒕 𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑵𝒐𝒘

so if you don’t want to see me dancing with somebody
if you wanna believe that anything could stop me
don’t show up
don’t start caring about me now 🎶




You're the type of lover who loves to showoff your relationship.
You want to have fun and want to feel your partner's attention,
but you do have high expectations and if these are not met,
your partner should beware of your pride, but as long as your
partner rises up, they can expect to be treated like royalty
both publicly and privately.






𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑨𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏

i never thought that i would find a way out
i never thought, i’d hear my heart beat so loud
i can’t believe there’s something left in my chest anymore
but god damn, you got me in love again 🎶




You're a dedicated lover, but you can come off as standoffish
because you're scared to fall in love—mainly because you may have
impossible-to-meet standards that have lead to disappointments before.
It may take some time, but you're a sensitive and devoted lover,
and while you're not prone to boastful demonstrations of love—once
you've met the partner for you—you will shower your partner with
selfless attention, learning every little detail about them.






𝑳𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈

if you wanna run away with me
i know a galaxy and i can take you for a ride
i had a premonition that we fell into a rhythm
where the music don’t stop for life
glitter in the sky, glitter in my eyes
shining just the way i like 🎶




You're a fun lover who loves to shine: you love a party,
you love a cocktail, you love to flirt. You're easy to love,
because you love love, but this can also be misconstrued by
others and you may come off as a tease, or even superficial.
When you're serious, however, your partner can expect a romantic,
caring lover who will always be fair and treat you like an equal.






𝑭𝒖𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝑵𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒈𝒊𝒂

i know you’re dying trying to figure me out
my name’s on the tip of your tongue,
keep running your mouth
you want the recipe but can’t handle my sound 🎶




You're a mysterious lover, you don't care about revealing
much of yourself, yet this is intriguing to those who love
a challenging puzzle. You may attract the wrong types of people,
but thankfully you can see through them—this can be a challenge,
but once you find the right person, you are all in; your
partner can expect a deep, intense, and sensual commitment.






𝑪𝒐𝒐𝒍

guess i never had a love like this
hit me harder than i ever expected
we been up all goddamn night, all night, all night
keep it going ‘till we see the sunlight 🎶




You're an adventurous lover, maybe even too adventurous,
some would even call you restless; settling down is scary
for you, you're scared of routine, scared of the conventional,
and you're also an idealist, you have big dreams, and are
terrified of having to give them up; an ideal partner to you
is someone who is willing to learn with you, someone you
can learn from, and someone whom you can show a whole new world to.






𝑷𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍

all night, i’ll riot with you
i know you got my back and you know i got you
so come on, come on, come on
let’s get physical
lights out, follow the noise
baby keep on dancing like you ain’t got a choice 🎶




You're a self-controlled lover, sometimes coming off as
aloof or even cold, you don't enter relationships lightly,
and care about how they may affect your social status. Some
might describe this as calculating but you're a hard worker,
you're reliable and you deserve someone who won't drag you down
or take advantage of you; your partner won't have any nasty
surprises, you're loyal, you're romantic, you're both a team,
you're in this together.






𝑩𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌 𝑴𝒚 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕

i’ve always been the one to say the first goodbye
had to love and lose a hundred million times
[…]
it's you in my reflection
i'm afraid of all the things it could do to me
if i woulda known it, baby
i would've stayed at home
'cause i was doing better alone
but when you said “hello”
i knew that was the end of it all 🎶




You're a unique lover, and you're hard to tie down.
You like to follow your own rules, you're a rebel,
you're also a bit of a loner. Sometimes you can be more
brains than heart, but this just means your partner can
expect an easygoing relationship, with complete freedom,
unconventionality, and always a friend to trust.




falling hearts; future nostalgia artwork; zodiac sparkly gifs; dua-pisces gif ; dua-aries gif ; dua-taurus gif ; dua-gemini gif ; dua-cancer gif ; dua-leo gif ; dua-virgo gif ; dua-libra gif ; dua-scorpio gif ; dua-sagittarius gif ; dua-capricorn gif ; dua-aquarius gif

ONTD Original: The Best Show You Aren't Watching, Quarantine Edition -The Windsors

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My darlingsssSSss, did you already devour your Netflix / Amazon Prime Catalogue? No need to fear, your snakey is here! Thanks to our amazing ONTD members many of us discovered amazing new shows (eg Schitt's Creek), so why not continuing with this amazing tradition?
Today's Recomendation:

(pic source)


Genre: Comedy
Lengh: About 30 mins per episode.

Why should I watch this show?

It is a satirical representation of a re imagined Royal Family. If you like British humour, laughing at the expense of the British Royal family you would absolutely LOVE this show. If this did not convince you enough, these character descriptions will

  • Evil Camilla, the Queen ONTD truly deserves.

Finally, the evil Camilla that all tabloids have been talking about comes to life! From getting pregnant to make the Parker Bowls the new royal family, to digging up the original magna carta to make her husband king, nothing is too much for our Evil (never) Queen!

  • G*psy Kate

Do you think the duchess is boring? Oh you are so wrong! G*psy princess Kate is here, and is unstoppable. Kate stops missiles, does heroine on telly, and destroys Camilla's plans one by one.


  • Prince Philip

HRH Queen and Prince Consort do not phisically appear in the show, however once in a while "Prince Philip" sends a few notes and they are just like you imagined: filled with swear words, cursing everything and everyone. I refuse to imagine him any differently

Honorable Mentions: MM dealing with her new bonkers reality.

Where can I watch it?

  • All4 (if you are in the UK)

  • Netflix

  • Your usual places that sSsnakey won't say


Source: me and my wee brain.

ONTD, do you already love this show? What are you watching during this quarantine? I'll try to make more posts like this, if you want!
--Mods, the cut thingy won't work. I can't seem to fix it, SORRY!! (help a snake out, please?)--

ONTD Original: Where are the stars of '90210' now?

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In 2008, The CW premiered 90210, the fourth series in a franchise begun by Darren Star in 1990 with Beverly Hills, 90210. Like its predecessor, the show followed the seemingly fabulous lives of the wealthy students of West Beverly Hills High School, and later their post-graduate trajectories. Despite a rough first season, it would go on to earn moderate critical reception and last for four additional seasons before being cancelled in 2013.

Recently I'd been wandering what became of the cast, a result of having binge-watched Schitt's Creek and fallen in love with Dustin Milligan all over again. I may very well be the only one... but I'm sharing my findings with you anyway.

Note: all photos are from within the last 12 months, with the exception of Gillian Zinser's, who made her last red carpet appearance in 2017.


Shenae Grimes-Beech ('Annie Wilson,' Seasons 1-5)
Grimes was a teen soap veteran when she left her native Canada to take the role of Annie Wilson, 90120's original central character. Since the series ended, she's appeared in assortment of made-for-TV movies; in 2018, she played an adult character for the first time (at 28) on CTV's short-lived police procedural The Detail. These days, she semi-regularly posts mommy vlogs to her YouTube channel, with guest appearances by husband Josh Beech and their daughter.


Tristan Wilds ('Dixon Wilson,' Seasons 1-5)
Post-90210, Wilds' made a career in music his primary focus (co-starring in Adele's Xavier Dolan-directed music video for "Hello" along the way). As Mack Wilds, he's released two albums—his debut, 2013's New York: A Love Story, was executive produced by Salaam Remi and earned a GRAMMY nomination for Best Urban Contemporary Album.


Dustin Milligan ('Ethan Ward,' Season 1)
Fans were shocked when it was announced that West Beverly Hills High's big man on campus would not be returning for 90210's second season, having been written out in favor of making newcomer Matt Lanter a series regular. Milligan worked steadily on various indie projects before landing the role of hunky, punny veterinarian Ted Mullins in the sleeper hit CBC series Schitt's Creek in 2015.


Annalynne McCord ('Naomi Clark,' Seasons 1-5)
Arguably the runaway star of 90210, McCord brought humor and nuance to the role of spoiled socialite Naomi. In 2012, she gave a critically acclaimed performance in Richard Bates, Jr.'s body-horror flick Excision, but her subsequent film and television projects have left much to be desired. These days, her efforts are primarily focused on philanthropy, with a special interest in human rights causes.


Jessica Stroup ('Erin Silver,' Seasons 1-5)
Stroup starred in a string of critically maligned horror movies—remember the Prom Night remake?—while portraying David Silver and Kelly Taylor's half sister. She would follow her stint on 90210 with roles in Fox's The Following and Netflix's short-lived adaption of Marvel's Iron Fist comics.


Michael Steger ('Navid Shirazi,' Seasons 1-5)
Of all the 90120 alums, the least information is available online about Steger's post-series career. He appeared in a few TV movies in 2015, and the following year welcomed a daughter with wife and fellow actor Brandee Tucker.


Jessica Lowndes ('Adrianna Tate-Duncan,' Seasons 1-5)
From the moment wild child Adrianna performed a rendition of "Mama Who Bore Me" in the 90210 pilot, it seemed to be only a matter of time before Lowndes began pursuing her own career in music. And she did, releasing a pair of EPs and numerous singles during the show's run, but it never really came together. On the bright side, she's worked in television steadily since, lending her talents to multiple Hallmark Channel and Lifetime original movies.


Matt Lanter ('Liam Court,' Seasons 1-5)
After launching his career as 90210's resident bad boy, Lanter was cast as the male lead in the CW's sci-fi romance Starcrossed, which lasted for one season. He'd return to television in 2016 in another sci fi series, this time Timeless on NBC for two seasons. Lanter continues to lend his voice to such iconic characters as Star Wars' Anakin Skywalker and DC's Aquaman in various animated productions; later this year, he can be seen in Netflix's adaptation of comic series Jupiter's Legacy alongside Josh Duhamel and Ben Daniels, among others.


Trevor Donovan ('Teddy Montgomery,' Seasons 2-5)
Joining the cast at 28 years old, Donovan has also worked steadily since graduating from 90210. He played a supporting role in Oliver Stone's Savages in 2012, and like Lowndes has made his fair share of Hallmark Channel originals. Unfortunately, an extremely thirsty (and slightly embarrassing) campaign for the role of Aquaman in DC's big screen introduction of the hero did not yield the desired results.


Gillian Zinser ('Ivy Sullivan,' Seasons 2-4)
After leaving 90210 in Season 4, Zinser also appeared in Savages... as 'Beach Girl.' Her projects in the remainder of the decade were sparse, and she now self-identifies as a "photographer".

Images via Google
Info via IMDB

ONTD Originals: Pixar Playoffs (Top 8 Voting until 4/9)

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This was a bit of a foregone conclusion. I didn't even have to ask ya'll what you liked, I could have guessed 90% of these nominations.

The one real surprise is Monsters Inc.




You have until April 9th, at 1PM CST, an hour after Roundup time!

src: People hating Toy Story, apparently.

lj get your shit in gear!

ONTD Original: The Best Show You Aren't Watching, Quarantine Edition -Kim’s Convenience

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My darlingsssSSss, is the quarantine breaking your spirits? No need to fear, ssSsnakey is here with the cutest, most wholesome show to entertain you.

Today’s Recomendation
Kim’s Convenience



(pic source)

Genre: Comedy
Length: 30 mins.

Why Should  I watch this show?
Just do it, trussSSt me.
This is a feel good show about an adorable family who runs a convenience store in Toronto. The parents emigrated from Korea and settled in Toronto, Canada. The show explores family dynamics, life as a minority, and how different minorities interact with each other.  All the characters are great, but here one highlight to convince you to spend your time with the Kims:

  • Appa/ Mr Kim

This actor and the scriptwriters take something that usually is portrayed as a racist negative stereotype – “OK See You!”  and the accent- to some new levels of adorableness (if that isn’t a word, it should be). Appa comes off as a real, 3d character, with all its flaws and merits, almost like a society leader you might say. At the beginning of the series he is estranged from his son, Jung. Will they reconnect? You gotta watch the show for it.

Honorable Mentions: Pastor Nina and her accidental gossip. And everyone else. Just watch thisSs ssSSshow.

Where can I watch it?

  • CBC

  • Netfilx (not everywhere I think?)

  • Your usual places that sSsnakey won't say


This show has been renewed for two more seasons, yay! (Source) For those of you who are not watching this show yet, you might have heard of it  while discussing the cast for Shang-Chi in the MCU (ONTD post here)
ONTD, what a week, uh? I hope you're all well and safe. Who is your favourite character? Do you also drop hot gossip like Pastor Nina?
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